In light of the fact that I have spent some time lately calling things stupid, pointing out stupid people places and practices and other stupidities, I figured - as I sometimes do halfway through the box of girl scout cookies - why stop now?
So the question of the day is: Is there any mascot stupider than a bullweisel? Funny but true. It's a kgb answers question and answer, but it's also a real thing. Kind of. It's actually a Boll Weevil. And it's University of Arkansas-Monticello's mascot. In honor of the tenacious insect able to wipe out cotton crops in a single blow, the university selected the mascot back in 1909. Too bad they didn't come up with a less colorful, less ridiculous-looking costume for the poor bastard that has to don the thing to promote school spirit. Luckily, his identity is hidden by a full face mask. Not that you couldn't look past that doppelganging nose, but why bother. Take it all in...it's a sight to see. It's pictured to the right.
My favorite local stupid idea was the Abraham Lincoln statue proposed for the city of Lincoln, Illinois back in 2004. Everyone knows how much old Abe adored watermelon juice. So why not build a $40 million, 305 foot memorial that depicts the great Illinois lawmaker christening the ground below him with a pinkish yellowish stream coming from somewhere near his waistline. Yep, that's right. A gigantic statue of the top-hatted man pissing out last night's libations says more about how this great country perservered in the face of danger and diversity than it does about the fact that this is one of the stupidest ideas I've heard of yet.
On a personal note, one of the stupidest moves I have made recently was playing fetch with my dog Stella at a newly found dog park. Grabbing a stick and throwing it back and forth for her to retrieve it was fun until she deposited a fossilized piece of poo in my hand and looked at me with those eyes that await praise and repeat throwing fun. Yuck. Welcome spring. Goodbye poo.