Friday, December 10, 2010

Everything Is Wonderful Now

"There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading in the same direction, so it doesn't matter which path you take.The only one wasting time is the one who runs around and around the mountain, telling everyone else that their path is wrong."

A friend recently sent me this. According to this friend of mine, it's a part of the Hindu teaching philosophy. I'm not sure what part or why or how, and to tell the truth I really don't care. I do care that it's a wonderful life philosophy and something that I will try to tell myself as I handle difficulties at work, with my family and in general. 

The reason why? Because it's so fucking true. 

There are enough people running around making this world miserable that if you opt to NOT be one of those people, you have indeed made a choice to make a difference. You don't even have to be one of those people who set out to make POSITIVE change happen. You simply have to commit to NOT making things miserable. 

It's sounds so simple, yet I ask you: how many people do you know that fall into one of these categories? How many people do you know that are simply miserable people waiting for the next opportunity to spread their misery? And then, ask yourself; how many people do you know that make you smile?
See? Those smiley people? They are wonderful. Whether they know it or NOT.


Thursday, December 9, 2010

It's All Relevant

I'm just your average girl.


But today I'm attempting the impossible.


Rubber gloves? Check.
Goggles? Check.
Bleach? Check.
Long-sleeves? Check.
Fire Extinquisher? Check.
Plunger? Check. (You never know.)



Travel on this high-flying adventure with me. Imagine a deep sleep. And a full bladder. Abruptly awake, now imagine a very hurried trip to the little girls room (or boy, whatever). Fantasize with me here, but continue to imagine the level of relief and contentment that washes over oneself when these worlds collide successfully.


Da-Da-Duh.


What's that? No toilet paper? Simply a leftover cardboard roll? What the hell? How the hell did THAT happen? What the hell are you to do? Who do you call? Who can possibly help? There is no way out? How did this happen?


Oh, yeah. That's right. You forgot how difficult, if not impossible, it is to change the toilet paper roll. Gather your strength, because today I'm going to walk you through the process. I know, I know. Just an average Joe like me. Tackling such a global issue so early on a forlorn Thursday morning. Well, as it will surely go down in history books, someone has got to do it.


On second thought, maybe I'll save this gem of a life-skill all for myself. It's forever a fight for relevancy, no?



Friday, December 3, 2010

Just One More Thing

 A little story of inspiration.

A little girl. A little run. A little hope for the future.

Like A Box Of Really Crappy Chocolates, Really

It's been a tough week. The holiday season is suddenly upon us and so are all the lovely side dishes that often are served up alongside the main meal, main meal, real deal. Things like green bean casserole, end of year budget halts, early Winter blues, ear infections and planning the obligatory family gatherings. All one in the same, really.

Open can...dump...stir....bake...sprinkle...serve...eat. 

So that's what I've been doing. What about you? What about the rest of the world?

Well, it seems the Pink is pregnant. And the jobless rate hit 9.8% with only 39,000 new jobs added this past month, which is good news for no one, really. And of course, WikiLeaks proved once again that open diplomacy is indeed fatally flawed (Sorry Woodrow). And Harry and Lisa are two of the worlds biggest idiots. And Senator James Meeks is running for Mayor of Chicago on two appalling platforms; 1. by taking advantage of the disadvantaged and the homeless and 2. by shunning everyone who isn't exactly like him and voting against the civil union legislation currently in front of Illinois lawmakers. And a Facebook mob turns against international Muslim action. And I don't really care too much about Carnival's Cruise PR crisis and you shouldn't either. Unless you were on the boat. But the fact is, no one is on the boat now, so everyone should probably just get on with living their lives.

It's an odd reality we live in. The more things change (like Lisa's lips) the more they stay the same. Unfortunately, when things bubble up (like Lisa's lips) we need to address them or suffer the consequences. Which are often humiliatingly truthful and emotional. Not unlike The Situation, really. Life is like a reality TV show except it's reality. Really.