Imagine It Monday

Ahhhhh...Monday. Your siren song is so damp with worry and smells of must and disappointment.

So let's focus on something more inspiring than the long list of emails and obligations that await each of us each new workweek we stumble upon.

Let's focus on how we tackle those to-do lists, email trails and household chores. Personal or business, every Monday means a fresh batch of must-reads delivered into our virtual inboxes. No one is exempt from this unless you don't have email. In which case, you can ignore this posting because you are either 1. not yet born or 2. dead.

How do you tackle prioritizing emails? I'm not talking about how Google recommends setting up apps, but instead, how do you decide what to open and what to delete? Here is what I imagine:

You open your email. Thirty-two new bolded messages pop up. You scan the entire list. A note from your kid's orthodontist. [Check...already on the calendar.] Two or three forwarded chain-mail like messages that contain either quotes from the Bible, pictures of kittens or babies investigating their own belly buttons. [Sorry Mary, but these don't even get opened.] A few coupons or deals with words like, "Hurry!" or "Don't miss out on these savings!" or "Last chance for..." [Save a favorite store offer for later if the time is right and there is extra money to be spent.] Maybe there is a reminder or two from the local parks and rec or the library or the grocery store you had to register for a shopper's savings pass that you now carry around on your keychain. [The intention is always to open later, but we never do, do we?] Most likely there are a few Linkedin messages to groups that you subscribe, maybe a job posting that matches a profile you created somewhere, and maybe a Facebook friend request or message or update regarding your social circle. [We open only if we recognize a name or company that we want to investigate, snoop, or work for.] Then there are the bank reminders and credit card bills and wireless phone account updates and offers [Yucky], the friendly notes from colleagues that simply could not wait to tell you something over the weekend [Something brilliant like, "check out this chic dancing with another chic," or "my friend is selling their pontoon boat..." or "here are the latest photo's of little johnny taking the championship title at our church wieney eating contest..." we either click on immediately or wait until office gossip forces you to open the image file out of scandelous curiosity] and maybe a online video rental or book recommendations based on your previous purchases [delete]. And finally, there are the sweepstakes. Ahhhh....the chance for a better life. On a dreary Monday morning! You sit back. You close your eyes. You dream of how much different your life would be if you won the HGTV Green Home, the J. Peterman's travel sweepstakes, the Wonka Golden Ticket, Glamour's free promo prize of the day, or whatever it is that floats your boat. Just for a moment, you are rescued from the harrowing claws of Monday...

Then reality snaps you back to email hell and once again you are deleting and reading and digesting and diverting one critical message after another. If all else fails, chase away the Monday blues by visiting the Ode to the Commode Facebook fan page. That's right, folks. Flush a Friend. What a way to start a week!

Happy Monday!

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